When we first found out I was pregnant, I already had a hunch.Dizziness, extreme fatique, and "butterflies" in my stomach for a few days made me wonder.
Yet we stared at the one strong line and one faint line like we just couldn't believe it.
And we couldn't. We even googled what a "faint" line meant...could it really be true?
It was and we wanted to hide-part excitement, part nervousness. We went straight to Barnes and Noble and bought "What to Expect When You're Expecting", tucked under my arm so no one could see!
By that weekend we'd share the news-against some people's advice to keep it quiet in case something went wrong. I like to err on the side of optimism. Snow came...days and days of it and we found out our baby was a girl.
Fast forward to the hot month of June-we could. not. wait. to meet Anna Ruth! I had to be induced, and she still wasn't ready to come. At last though-she was here! I first said "ooohhhh, Hi pretty girl!"
The hospital was a blur...once we got home I noticed a day or two in something was "off". I kept crying, right in the middle of nothing! With my head stuck in the fridge-tears! (Which is normally a quite happy place for me :) ) I e-mailed some girl friends, and three specifically helped. Heather and Stephanie wrote the most honest, helpful e-mails back, with prayers for me to feel like myself again. Jana came to visit on Brett's first day back at work (which was waaaay too soon) and brought a bag of treats-just for me. Previously my mom had brought over a beautiful bouquet of flowers, the kind I always remember being at my house when I was younger.
My prayer was simple-to fall in love with Anna Ruth. I was excited about her, but so exhausted by this little tiny girl who needed care and attention 24 hours a day. I wanted to cherish each moment taking care of her, not be overwhelmed by it.
It didn't take long-and God answered my prayer above and beyond what I asked for. I soon felt not just like "myself", but like an even better version of myself. I fell deep in love with our sweet Anna Ruth and now can honestly say I couldn't be more in love with her if I tried! Sure sometimes are stressful, and I want to cry right with her, but even in those moments I just know they're not worth dwelling on. They're teachable moments....for me to teach Anna Ruth how I love her, even with her tears or sleepiness.
I wanted to write all this for a couple of reasons-One is I remember Heather saying that moms do each other an incredible injustic by pretending like we have it all together. I agree. Second-God is waiting for us to ask him for what we need. If I asked my Daddy for something right now I know he would do anything to help me! Now how much more does our Heavenly Father love us? We can't even fathom it. God is waiting to bless you! Ask, Seek, Knock.
p.s.-my "short and to the point" husband says I didn't tell the whole story. So in his words
"God blessed us and answered our prayers the entire way through our pregnancy. We were very excited and eager throughout our early pregnancy. Our first doctor's visit went well-we thought. We received a phone call a week after our ultrasound to return for a visit so that our doctor could express concerns regarding our once thought normal visit. The Dr. had idenified some concerns regarding the ultrasound. Our baby's heart didn't look normal which could indicate many different complications and potential problems. The best would be heart problems and more severe case-downs syndrome. We had no point of reference as to how to take this news. We prayed. Our doctor scheduled us another ultrasound appt. at UAMS. We both went and the doctor examined for what seemed like an hour, which was probably more like thirty minutes, looking at everything. We waited in fear, faith, and anticipation. In the end the Dr. concluded that it was just an incidental finding, and that our baby was healthy! What a relief it was to know that it was unlikely that our baby had downs syndrome.
"God blessed us and answered our prayers the entire way through our pregnancy. We were very excited and eager throughout our early pregnancy. Our first doctor's visit went well-we thought. We received a phone call a week after our ultrasound to return for a visit so that our doctor could express concerns regarding our once thought normal visit. The Dr. had idenified some concerns regarding the ultrasound. Our baby's heart didn't look normal which could indicate many different complications and potential problems. The best would be heart problems and more severe case-downs syndrome. We had no point of reference as to how to take this news. We prayed. Our doctor scheduled us another ultrasound appt. at UAMS. We both went and the doctor examined for what seemed like an hour, which was probably more like thirty minutes, looking at everything. We waited in fear, faith, and anticipation. In the end the Dr. concluded that it was just an incidental finding, and that our baby was healthy! What a relief it was to know that it was unlikely that our baby had downs syndrome.
After she was born the Dr. noticed some inconsistencies and concerns in her heart rhythm. Long story short-the dr. was concerned that our baby had a heart murmur. We already knew she didn't have anything wrong with her. We went through the dr.'s recommendations and had her checked out and she was fine!
Dr.'s will tell you a lot of things-but you need to have some faith and prayer. These will do much more than any Dr. can do for you."
Dr.'s will tell you a lot of things-but you need to have some faith and prayer. These will do much more than any Dr. can do for you."
3 comments:
love your new banner first of all. and, i love this post. it helps to just be real and the most wonderful thing you put is that you are now a better version of yourself. motherhood is so wonderful and i agree--we are changed in such a fabulous way after we settle into our routine and loving those babies. you go girl. also, you are looking WAY stylish and put together in all your pictures. i need some pointers, ha. and most importantly, that anna ruth is the cutest thing i have ever seen. the hair just kills me--it is perfect.
Sara this is beautiful. Your words are so honest and real! Thank you! What a special person you are! I'm glad for our "new" friendship...I am already learning so much from you via your blogs. Thanks for being a positive inspiration of faith and happiness! Hope to see you soon! =)
Well said! So glad you did this insightful post. Being a mother is the greatest gift of all time. But it is hard. There are tough times. And it's good to talk about ALL the different emotions you go through as a mom. Loved all these pics so much. And Anna's hair is looking like it has a stronger red tint!!!! Beautiful. And you look awesome. Seriously.
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